Love, Uncle Rupert

Meet Ian Thorpe’s swimmer friend, Daniel Mendes

I don’t get it. I mean, why devote so many column inches to Ian Thorpe’s friendship with a hot Brazilian swimmer named Daniel? Yeah, they’ve lived together for three years and spend Christmas with each others families, so did my sister and her now-husband before they got marr-

oh … OH.

Ah, Rupert, your lawsuit-evading obfuscations are so clever. You minx.